Christmas crackers are rubbish these days. All of them (even the cheap ones) are filled with classy necklaces or fetching pens. Whatever happened to the fabulously tacky crackers of my youth? Tissue paper hats, a bad joke and your choice of a red fortune-telling fish, a black moustache to clip on your nose, a strange orange finger nail that never fit on your finger, or a plastic spinning top + others. Bring back 80s Christmas crackers!